And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize