ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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