gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
