JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
