His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
