Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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