I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We smell like vodka and hangover
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