at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
my poor anus
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
