North Korea, Best Korea!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Acid is not a monday night drug
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
