70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
