i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
