its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize