does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
