We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
