I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
