I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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