you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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