No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
