But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
