Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize