there was a trapeze. enough said
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
