Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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