I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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