i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
