i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
