I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
