wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
