brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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