this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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