how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
