I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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