matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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