Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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