How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Floor bacon is actually really good
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