No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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