she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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