ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
