1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
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