Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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