It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
