Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
