I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
