Your face is a jimmy john
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
