i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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