i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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