I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
