I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
