I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
