There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
my sisters under your porch take her home
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Randomize
