DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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