I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
