Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize