Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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