I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize