We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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