i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
