you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
