You made me cry and you don't even care
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
