oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Randomize
