pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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