I bet he comes in French.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize