He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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