I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
