I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
